Snoop Life to Live

Let me give you a little context before I dive in. My mom has watched All My Children for as long as I can remember. In fact, I remember her coming home for lunch every day at 1 pm before I was in school and eating my lunch with her while we watched All My Children (yes I was like 3 or 4). And party because it's something I did with my mom and mostly because I absolutely adore trashy television, I have always been a soap opera fan. I have always watched All My Children, have the All My Children commemorative book and forced my old college roommate Jaimee to go to the soap star fan event in Dallas, Texas a few years back. (And, thanks to Jaimee I had my picture taken with two of my favorite cast members! I was too nervous to speak, but Jaimee busted up in the line, grabbed the guy and essentially forced him to smile while I giddily grinned next to him.)

Now All My Children has its ups and downs. Personally, I like the old peeps from back in the day and don’t like the introduction of these random new characters. I know we need some new people in case the entire cast dies or something, but hold off on the newbies. I am much more interested in my power couple Tad and Dixie. Typically with any soap opera you can catch an episode once or twice every two years or so and completely catch up. Time doesn’t elapse the same in the world of soaps. Things that should take 20 minutes, taken 2 months. It’s just the joy of watching a soap opera. So, I tune in the other morning, just to get a lay of the land, and am pleasantly surprised to see they are bringing back the oldie but goodies. There is Brooke, Tad is a prevalent character, my all-time favorite Greenlee has risen from the dead for the third time, Jack and Erika seem to be working their way back to each others’ arms, etc. I’m excited, hence starting my more regular viewing. (With the help of Soapnet this is a clear slam dunk opportunity for me to get caught back up.)

So I watched it today. It was pretty good, but I’m still getting caught back up. At the end of the show I’m waiting for the “scenes for tomorrow,” only to be disappointed when I got nothing but the show logo. Boo! As I’m getting off the couch to try to do something productive, I hear the teaser for One Life to Live, which follows, saying something about Snoop being on the show. I’m thinking, I didn’t hear that right. And, then, they say it again. I’m still thinking, this must be a new character, maybe they are saying Shoop, some fake band on the show. I don’t really know, but I leave the TV knowing this surely ain’t talking about Snoop Dogg, Snoopy d-o-double g.

Soap operas were born in the 1950s to target stay-at-home moms. The entire premise behind the show concept was for manufacturers such as P&G and Colgate to sponsor and reach stay-at-home moms. Women. Typically aged 25-50. Has that sunk in? Good, I figured it had.

But, after actually looking it up, I find that One Life to Live (OLTL) is actually going to feature Snoop on their show, not once, but for the second time. Now, I don’t know who this is sadder for. Snoop who has stooped to doing soap operas or soap operas for thinking Snoop is a good choice for stay-at-home moms? Snoop’s latest single is Malice in Wonderland, which for me just doesn’t reach out to a 32 year old mom taking care of her two kids. But, what do I know? Snoop always was my favorite. With lyrics like “It’s my house and I live here” how could he not be really?

(Picture from Scott Gries, Getty Images, via MSNBC.com)

So, Snoop returns to Llanview (I think he returned on the 24th) for the second time in two years to perform a new song. (Way to reach your audience, Snoop.) But, it really gets kinda even more comical. Snoop said he grew up watching the shop and has a special soft spot for Bo Buchanan. That is awesome. Snoop Dogg and I grew up watching the same soap operas on ABC.

Maybe he was at the soap star fan event with me too, just trying to get his picture made.

Is this a real face?

I haven't watched America's Next Top Model very faithfully over the years, but I do remember when Yoanna House won back in 2004. I personally thought she was kinda funny looking, but most of the times, Tyra doesn't go for the commercial beauties, but instead the ones that have that "high fashion" look. (Personally, I'd rather be commercial beautiful, but since my weight is more than a contestant on a lose weight show, I don't think it really matters what I want.)

Anyways, Yoanna won. She even had some fashion correspondence show. And, then, today I see this picture (on Afternoon Crumbs, from TMZ).

This can't be real, right? It's one of those tricks, where they show some large, overweight person and then some super thin person and say it's the same person when really we know they are just two different people (one big, one small), both wearing the same color bathing suite. Tell me it's a trick!!!

She's a plastic nightmare who looks like a drag queen. I'm scared by her plastic face. I'm kinda hope it's RuPaul in there, just fooling us all.

Go back to the "high fashion" beauty. Please!

Snooki in my friends house

Snooki and the rest of the Jersey Shore cast appeared on The View yesterday to promote the release of Jersey Shore Season 1 on DVD. (I am considering making the purchase, although I think it might be a new low point. Regardless, let's be honest, I'll probably own it before the weekend is here). Or, you could watch full epsidoes online. I mean for you non serious fans.

Let me paint the scene.

Whoopi and Joy HATE the show. Hate the folks. And Joy all but said it on the show. Whoopi wasn't too bad. Just wore a weird Alice in Wonderfuland hat symbolizing her going down the rabbit hole. Haters.

Elizabeth (sporting a "I heart The Situation" shirt) and Sherri (totally rocking the Snooki do) love the show. Two thumbs up, ladies.

The segment was more of a back and forth, yelling match really, between the haters (really just Joy) and the supporters, with the cast getting a few words in edgewise. The Situation started by giving all the cohosts nicknames:

Whoopi--The Administrator

Joy--The Assumption (she was not pleased)

Elizabeth--The Attraction (he wants in her pants, obviously)

Sherri--The Duplication ('cause she had her hair done like Snooks)

My favorite moment. They asked Snooki when she knew was famous. Her answer. "Pretty much since birth."

On the show (and in other reported news), it has been said that Snooki is not even Italian-American, but rather Chilean. On the show, she said she is part Chilean and part Sicilian. I don't know about her birth origins, but I do know one very awesome, amazing, makes me smile piece of news.....wait for it.....

My friend is third cousins with Snooki. My friend's mom is first cousin's with Snooki's mom. Snooki, the adopted Chilean daughter of my friend's mom's first cousin. Holy moly, I did just die and go to entertainment heaven. I feel like an insider with insider info. Like now, it doesn't seem as creepy that I tweeted at Snooki (even though she didn't tweet back). I mean, Snooki and I are pretty much really good friends now, by association only. Who's going to play me in the movie? Because my friend's mom is mortified about Snooks being part of the family with her televised antics, I'll refrain from namedropping, but this is fabulously awesome to me.

(Photos from MTV)

Snooki, adopted by an Italian family, THAT I KNOW! Now, that is good news for a Wednesday.

Pretty much gotta buy the season now. Just to support the family and all. Not to mention I'm half Italian. I really need to support this cause, both for my friend's family and my heritage.

Maybe I can convince one of my first cousins to join season 2. I mean, the Panaro's can be guido too. I like sparkly, tacky stuff.

Caught a Tiger by the tail

Tiger finally spoke on Friday, after months of hush-hushness and women coming out of the woodworks, the phone history, the Internet. Pretty much anywhere except the brothel (or at least as far as we know).

I don’t really care too much about Tiger Woods. Never have really. He’s a fantastic golfer and that can’t be disputed, but as far as his personal life, I’ve never had too much interest. I thought his kids were cute and looked like the perfect mixture between Tiger and Elin. And, even though I didn’t really care about his personal life (one of the few celebs I didn’t care about—I even like the b-level stars) I did enjoy watching his amazing golf shots from time to time.

But, when the news broke of his indiscretions, the battle at his house when Elin beat the crap out of his car with his golf club and the cover ups with all the various and sundry women, my interest was piqued. Tiger was now a class-A screw up and had more drama than All My Children on a good week.

After the women kept coming forward, I lost interest again. He left golf, his wife seemed she couldn’t care less about him and women were coming out of everywhere but Tiger had little to say. But, then, he broke his silence last Friday.

Of course he had to orchestrate the whole thing to hand pick who would be in attendance. Make sure he picked those people who would speak favorably over “his efforts” and hug him when the big talk was over. So, to an audience of his choosing, Tiger apologized publically for how much he hurt his family, fans and endorsement folks. After reading his paper what had to be word-for-word, he folded his cheat sheet, hugged the ones who support him and off he went.

Kudos to his PR firm for making him do it I guess (although I question why it wasn’t sooner?). It was a nicely prepared speech by some PR writer sitting in the confines either of a cubicle or a four-walled office. Tiger did a nice job of reading the words he was provided. But, the big thing that was missing, for me, was any sense of actual remorse. It was all so scripted. I do, however, believe Tiger is very sorry. Very sorry he got caught. Very sorry that his endorsers pulled fundage and he’s going to be missing a few big paychecks a year. I do think he’s genuinely sorry he hurt his mom, but what man wouldn’t want to spare his mom hurt? From the scripted words, lack of emotion and hand-picked audience where he shut out his adversaries, I think his efforts fall short. Way short.

Then you read quotes like “The sincerity of his remarks and the thoughtfulness in his message was very apparent,” said Begay, Tiger’s old college buddy. I agree the message was thoughtful and give major credit again to the PR writer behind the speech. But, seriously. Not for one moment do I believe Tiger wrote that. Begay also said he knows Tiger is trying to learn about the issues because he’s going to rehab. Tiger is going to rehab so he doesn’t look like a total loser and terrible role model so maybe one day he can rejoin golf and his sponsors will overflow again.

More realistically, yet polite, was PGA Commissioner who said he thought this was a good first step and that Tiger did a very good job of communicating the way he thought and what he thinks about where he is. Good step if you ever want to play golf again. I also love the carefully chosen words “the way he thought” and “what he thinks.” None of those say I believe what he said or that he thinks Tiger is actually sorry. It was pretty much the same as the apology, “I’m sorry you feel that way” instead of “I’m sorry I hurt you.”

So for me, the hand-picked public statement failed. But, hey, I’m just one person born and raised in the South thinking Greenville is pronounced Greenvulle. So what do I know.

I do know he’s an amazing golfer. That golf won’t be the same without him. And I hope Elin and the kids aren’t harassed for Tiger’s indiscretions. (The one thing I did agree with him on 100%.)

Until it comes out that Tiger is the biological father of the Octomom’s kids or that Tiger had an affair with Britney Spears, I’ve lost interest…again.

Sens' house welcomes a new arrival

Disclaimer: Although Matthew likes the new arrival perhaps more than me and definitely more than the cats, the new arrival does not breathe, require food or use the bathroom. It does, however, bring us lots and lots of joy.

For Christmas this year, I got Matthew a Blu-ray player. Before I purchased it I made sure it would work on one of the televisions in the house. Matthew loved the the new Blu-ray, but did not want to hook it up on the 19 inch in the bedroom. I guess that left something to be desired. Since Christmas, the new player, special HDMI cords and Blu-ray movie have been securely in the corner of the office. (Not for Matthew’s lack of wanting, begging and researching the latest and greatest TVs out on the market).

On Wednesday, out we went to get the next season of Battlestar Galactica. We tried Walmart. No luck. We tried the next Walmart. No luck on season 3. I then insisted HHGregg would have the latest season. It is, after all, just like Best Buy, right? Wrong. It’s just an appliance store. But, after we walked in and navigated through the washers and dryers we found ourselves in the land of the TVs, otherwise known as Matthew’s Dreamland. After more researching and more affliction of the “I have to have a new TV” bug, off we went on Friday to get the new HD for the living room.

Before we even got there, Matthew knew which one we were to take home. We walked in, and there it was. Right next to the newest LED. (We had to leave that one in the store). We tell the guy which one we want and off he goes to locate it in the back. Matthew expresses how much he hopes they have it in the back. I pray they don’t so we can get the “display only” discount. I do like a nice discount.

That’s right folks. I win. None in the back and we are “forced” to buy the display for a 10% discount. I’m starting to smile. I am, however, a little concerned because the screen looks darker than the other ones. Matthew assured me it just wasn’t calibrated, but I’m annoying and like to ask questions so I asked the sales guy, “Is this TV really dark because you didn’t calibrate it right, or because you dropped it and then put it on display.” I get the look of “who brought this lady into the store,” but was told “I didn’t drop this TV.” I, of course, then had to ask if someone else dropped it, maybe one of his buddies. I was again assured the TV had not been dropped.

Now we’re at the checkout. Sale rings up. Discount applied. And, then I go in for the kill again. I tried to use an expired coupon to get another 10% off. It’s sad, I know. Matthew had to leave the area for fear my coupon disease might rub off or the sales guy would kick us out of the store without our new TV. Unfortunately the coupon is not accepted. (I’m still okay with this since we did get the 10% display rate).

Then, Mr. Sales Guy tries to upsell the service package. Now, I love a nice insurance package. In fact, I am gullible enough to have bought one for everything I own (never used one though). But, I’m thinking this is an expensive purchase maybe we should consider it. Can’t be more than $50, right? WRONG! This guy tries to sell us a $200 insurance plan in case something might go wrong. I just tried to use an expired coupon on the DL so this is obviously not what I want to hear. He assures us he doesn’t get commission, and we should really consider this. I ask, “How many people actually ever use this thing?” Apparently 2-3/month call the service number. To me, that’s not enough people to warrant this thing needed, but of course I cave and buy the insurance plan. I always do. We did, however, only get the 2 year plan. (It was cheaper. And, he assured us we could always cancel it and get our money back. Pro-rated of course.)

TV is now officially purchased. But, since it was the on-display model there was no box. Off they go, with our new TV, to package it for safe travels. We go get the car and pull up to the front. Imagine our surprise when they come out with our TV wrapped in what looks like a trashbag. No bubble wrap. Not nice protective coating. Just some black plastic wrap. But, whatever. We’re the proud new owners of a new HDTV. We load it in, trashbag and all, and clip it in place with those rubberbandy things Matthew has in the Jeep. I sit in the back, just in case. Well, let me tell you. Just in case happened about 2 minutes into the trip. The swivel feature of the TV works just fine. Me and the new TV swiveled the entire way home. But, an hour later, we pulled in the driveway with our new arrival.

The rest if pretty boring. Matthew and I carried it in (painful for me). Matthew and Tommy carried the old one out. Matthew hooked everything up, calibrated the settings, checked the sound and admired his new baby from his prime spot on the couch.

We are now two Blu-ray movies in, about 3 discs of Battlestar Galactica watched and have checked every channel featuring HD programming. I have also become even more fascinated with the Olympics because watching people skate and ski is way cooler in HD than not. I’m already gearing up for the Canada/USA hockey game night to see how many ice tracks I can see from the skate. YAY!

The TV is pretty awesome. Matthew is over the moon. And, I can’t wait to watch Maury and Steve Wilkos in HD tomorrow morning.

Pregnant Man Births Again (almost)

Expectant mother Thomas Beatie, (who is technically, sort of a man) announced he is expecting his third child with his wife, Nancy. The couple already has a daughter and son, the first born in 2007 catapulting Thomas to international speculation and wonder as we all stared at what was a pregnant man.

Who is this, some of you may ask? Well, for those of you that didn't catch the famous Oprah episode, Thomas was born a woman, but underwent sex reassignment surgery. But, during the surgery he (since he identifies as a man and lives as one we call him a man even though technicaly I guess he's still a woman) did not have his reproductive organs removed. When he and his wife Nancy decided to have kids, Nancy was unable to since she had already undergone a hysterectomy. Logically then, the "father" would birth these babies, right? In most cases no, but in this case, with ovaries and uterus in check, Thomas was able to jump right in.

Check out the before and after photos (courtesy of The Daily Mail).

It's all pretty surreal to look at the photos. I mean, you are staring into the face of a man who is visibly pregnant. Our minds (at least as regular little pea-sized brained people like myself) do not know how to process the information. We all understand transgender, to a point, I think. We can tell oursevles, "Okay, this man was born a woman, but always felt like a man. So, he underwent surgery to look like what he identified with." I get that, support that and although I don't understand what that feels like, most certainly would want any person to live they way they feel. But to see a man being pregnant? I can't even comprehend it, logically. I am in full support of him having a kid, oddly enough (most people seem to think his decision is going to hurt the children). I think he should be able to be happy, live a "normal" life with his wife, and have all the dreams made a reality that any other person can. But, I'll be honest, it's just plain weird to see it.

I do, however, applaud Thomas and his wife for making it public and sharing their story. For being the circus freak show and saying "We don't really care what you think, we're happy and this is what we're doing." Makes me wish I had a little more circus freak mentality in me.

I'm not really sure who is the biologically mommy or daddy. I imagine Thomas is "dad" and Nancy "mom" but again I don't know. But the kids seem happy (most importantly). The parents seem happy (very important). And, they didn't birth 8 at a time making the United States pay for this "experiment." I mean, seriously, who can look at that picture and honestly say this is a bad thing? Baby smiles, mommy and daddy smiles. Hell, it makes me smile.

Photo courtesy of MomLogic.

I geniunely do admire and applaud this family, even though it messes with my head every time I see "the pregnant man." I wish we could all have a little circus freak in us. Maybe then we'd all be a lot more accepting, a lot less judgemental and alot happier with ourselves.

Key Lime Cupcakes

In case any of you were interested in the delicious Key Lime cupcakes I made during Zombieland, the recipe is below.

The only thing I might would do differently is using lime juice in the frosting instead of the lime peel. You can tell it's peel and it kinda tastes like paper in your mouth.

There are a lot of other recipes out there for Key Lime cupcakes. If you try another one and it's awesome, definitly let me know!

I stole it from somebody else's blog so check out some of the other goodies she has too.

Cupcake Ingredients:
1 cup all purpose flour
3/4 cup self-rising flour
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature
1 1/4 cups sugar
2 large eggs
2 1/2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
1 tablespoon finely grated lime peel
1/4 teaspoon neon-green food coloring
3/4 cup buttermilk

Frosting Ingredients:
1 8-oz package cream cheese, room temperature
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature
1 tablespoon finely grated lime peel
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Instructions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Line standard cupcake pan with 12 paper liners.
3. Whisk both flours in medium bowl until smooth. Add sugar, beat to blend. Beat in eggs 1 at a time, then next 3 ingredients (batter may look curdled).
4. Beat in flour mixture in 3 additions alternately with buttermilk in 2 additions.
5. Spoon scant 1/3 cup batter into each liner.
6. Bake cupcakes until tester inserted into center comes out clean, 20 to 25 minutes.
7. Cool 10 minute. Remove from pan; cool.

Frosting:Beat all ingredients in a medium bowl until smooth. Spread over cupcakes.

Time Travelin' Tearjerker

I'm two days late on Monday Movie Madness, but it's been a crazy few weeks. Matthew and I went up to Jersey/NYC over the weekend to celebrate Valentine's, traveled the whole back (via car) on Sunday and then spent Monday with Tristan at Frankie's and watching movies. Then, yesterday I was in job interview central pretty much being a rockstar. So, here we are on Wednesday, but with a movie review nonetheless.

First off, I've watched a lot of movies over the past few days including either fully or partially (I fall asleep A LOT during movies): Baby Mama, 2012, Couples Retreat, Across the Hall, The Time Traveler's Wife, and Percy Jackon and the Olympians, The Lightening Thief.

I watched Baby Mama while Matthew was working. It's hilarious (second time I had seen it and I think it was actually funnier).

That first night in the hotel room we decided to watch a movie. I immediately suggest "TIME TRAVELERS WIFE!" There was a resounding sigh indicating "I'd rather poke my eyes out and have llamas eat my ears than watch that movie." We went with 2012. The next night. Same thing. We watched Couples Retreat, which was hilarious (at least the parts I was awake for).

Saturday, after walking all of NYC in the blizzard freezing, and with about three hours until dinner, Matthew was in the perfect pounce position for me to suggest Time Traveler's Wife (not to mention it was the day before Valentine's Day). And, as a good boyfriend does, he relented and the viewing commenced.

The reviews were below average, and much below my anticipation so even I was a little skeptical. But, I love Rachel McAdams and Eric Bana so what could go wrong? And, after watching the movie, nothing did and the critics were just down right wrong. The movie was a stellar romantic story. Although a complete tear jerker which had me boohooing the last 30 minutes of the movie. (Disclaimer: I didn't read the book so this revew is based solely on the movie. I don't know if it was better the book so don't ask.)

The setup. Henry time travels for the first time when he is in a car crash with his mom. She dies. Fast forward a bunch of years. Clare sees Henry in the library and already knows everything about him because he has visited her from the time she was a small child (although when he came he was much older than the man she sees in front of her). They date, fall in love and get married. They even have a baby who is also a time traveler. After having the baby time travel out the womb causing Clare to miscarry many times, Henry has a vasectomy. But, then younger Henry time travels to the future and Clare gets pregnant by young Henry. It's crazy. Sadly, Henry is shot and killed while time traveling, leaving behind Clare and their daugther, only seeing them if his younger self time travels to them. The movie ends as Clare runs towards Henry and says "Why didn't you tell me you were coming. I would have waited." And Henry says "I didn't want you to wait." Pass the tissues please.

I don't know how believeable time traveling is. But, for me, that's not what this movie is even about. It's about the amazing bond and love these two people have for each other than can transcend any space or time. Henry loves her so much that he travels to her as a young girl to spend time with her, protect her, and love her. And, through her childhood, adolescence, and adulthood, Clare loves Henry for what he truly is. Even after knowing she's going to lose him so early in life she says, "I wouldn't trade one second of our life together." Isn't that what we all want in life? A love so deep it can transcend time? A love so deep that no matter how or when it ends it was worth it without question? Someone who loves us so much they travel back in time to just to spend time with us as much as possible? The love story in this movie is the kind of love I think we all want and only some of us are lucky to get.

Rachel McAdams gives a stellar performance and on-screen chemistry is there. I felt every emotion Clare felt through Rachel McAdams. When the movie closed, I was truly sad for these characters and wanted to know if Clare got to see Henry again. It was one of those movies that stuck with me for days as I not only mourned the lose of Henry for Clare, but as I relived their passionate love story. I cried not only because Henry died, not only because Clare and her daughter had to lose him, but because Henry and Clare found each other, showing us that is possible to live a life so full of love for another that regardless of the consequences you wouldn't change one single moment.

I give it four pops. It was fabulous.

And, as for my love. I'm glad all my moments are with you.

New York City!

Matthew and I left Wednesday morning around 11 am, bound for New York City, center of the 2010 blizzard nature was currently blowing our way. I had my doubts of why we were even doing that, but Matthew assured me it was fine. We agreed if it got too bad, he'd stop. (Felt we should get that out of the way rather than arguing about while we were on a 3 foot sheet of snow or ice unable to see in front of us.)

I kept checking the weather dopplar radar on my phone and kept saying "It looks like we're going to hit it soon."

Nothing.

"I think we're going to hit it right around this corner. The sky looks gray."

Nothing.

This went on for about an hour and a half. And, then, we hit DC and found the little hidden treasure of "The Blizzard of 2010." I gotta say, I've never really seen snow so it was unbelieveable. But, the roads really weren't that bad if you stayed on the interstate. We were cruising. I was taking pictures, Matthew was telling me we weren't on a site seeing tour and to stop taking pictures in his face. And then the GPS says to exit. We exit.

The next thing you know, we're in RFK Stadium and the roads down there are NOT good. After we turned around we start trying to find 95 again. Where oh where did you go precious friend? These roads we were on were not roads. They were lanes of snow. But, yes, we pressed on. At one point I start to say "Matthew, I really don't think we should be doing this" when I got the look of "I am nervous about the snow. Don't talk." (I managed to get out Ma- before "the look.")

We found 295, which was not a good substitute. It wasn't twice as good as the two might would lead you to believe. After we were on this road for a while we finally found our long lost friend

who had been so nicely treated with salt and plow trucks. But, as we neared closer to the Big Apple, Baltimore had a different plan for us. The roads were terrible. It was snowing hard and he wind was blowing every which way. At this point, we stopped for the night.

When we check in we find out there's a level 3 warning out which means unless you are an emergency vehicle...off the roads. This even means the plow folks. You know it's bad when you go to dinner and the room is filled with the snow plow folks. Even they were saying how bad it was out there.

The snow ended around 10 pm, we left around 7 am and arrived safe and sound in NYC around 11 am. The roads are clear and there is snow everywhere, which I think is kinda cool. Maybe we were crazy for driving to a blizzard, but that's what we do together. Crazy adventures and great memories. I thought the snow was unbelievable and beautiful and, crazy or not, it was so cool to be in the middle of this big storm. We aren't getting anything like this in NC so this was a once in a lifetime experience.

I'm glad we did it. I'm glad he drove and I took pictures. I'm glad we were together. And, now, I'm glad we're here. Blizzard of 2010 ain't got nothing on us.

Funny is all relative

Friday night, Matthew was in NJ for work and I was here, me and the two cats. I decide, "Hey it would be so totally awesome if I went and got sushi for dinner, made cupcakes (I like to bake and I found this kickin' Key Lime Cupcake recipe) and watch that new Brittany Murphy flick I've been dying to see. Hi ho hi ho off to Harris Teeter I then go, list in hand.

Sushi...check. Cupcakes stuff...check. New People (not on the list)...check anyway. And plastic bags in hand I am sanding at the Red Box machine. But, there is no Brittany Murphy movie. There is, in fact, nothing I want to see. I sulk home.

The roommate Tommy says "Hey I've got Zomebieland." At this point, I'm thinking 1) I've seen all the Lifetime movies. 2) I didn't get my movie and 3) How bad could it possibly be? I guess I tell you about how I came to see this movie because I guess it is possible I was in the wrong frame of mind. Or, it's more possible that I just seriously hated it THAT much.

Looking at the cover and seeing Woody Harrelson staring back should have tipped me off. It didn't. The pemise. Zombies have overtake the world. But this is no scary movie mind you. It's a half baked, sarcastic comedy. To me, zombies should be scary cheesy, not funny. But I digress. Woody is a zombie slaying fool who hooks up with this random teenage kid with zero social skills. Off they go on the hunt for Twinkies because apparently Woody can't live without Twinkies. Oh and because they are running from zombies. Before Woody comes along, dorky kid almost gets eaten because he's trying to get in zombie girl's pants. I guess he thought any kind of booty was better than none. Believe me, this guy was clearly getting none.

The two then get carjaked and guns stolen from this goth teenage girl and her little sister. They meet back up, enter Bill Murray which is just really weird, the girls escape and almost get eaten by zombies until dorky kid saves the day, Woody gets a Twinkie and dork gets a kiss from dark, mysterious kinda "I'm a bag girl" girl. I think something else may have happened after that, but luckily Matthew called and saved me from poking my eyes out.

The movie did well with the critics. Grossed a lot of money. But, seriously, for me it might have been the worst movie I've ever seen. I mean Bill Murray hasn't even had a real acting gig since Groundhog Day and What About Bob, right? The least they could have done is get a true B level celeb. Bill Murray isn't even popular enough for Celebrity Fit Club or The Surreal Life.

Woody Harrelson. Seriously? What was I thinking? All I can think of when I think Woody is White Men Can't Jump with that little Rosie lady. And his hunt for Twinkie's?? What IS that? If zombie's are after me I'm going for something more like cheesecake or booze. Not a prepackaged, stale, yellow cake with some white cream type filling that has been in a box, on a shelf for 3 years. It wasn't even funny to me. It was just plain idiotic.

Dork boy had some comic relief. But even he was awful. The girls were pointless except to give some additional characters for dorky boy to follow. And how does that little girl go from My Sister's Keeper to Zombieland? Terrible. She'll never be the next Dakota Fanning now. (Not that anyone could of course because she is simply fabuously awesome.)

I have no doubt some people LOVE this movie like Woody loves Twinkies. But I'd rather eat all the stale Twinkies in the world than ever see this movie again. And I hate Twinkies.

I don't think I can pop this one at all. But again, critics loved it and so did fans. Cause like I said in the title, funny really is all relative.

A little false advertising perhaps?

Four years after its initial debut on the world wide web, and this photo is still the #4 most popular emailed photo from Yahoo.


The caption reads, "A passanger waits for a delayed flight at Heathrow airport's terminal four in London August 12, 2006." I think it's fair to say that caption is really not indicative of why this photography took the picture and subsequently why the photo is so popular.


I think the caption should have more accurately read, "A very large bottom sits in a very small chair at Heathrow airport.."


Can you imagine this being your bottom and emailed round the world? What if you were looking at Yahoo's most popular emailed photos and there, in your face, was your enormous rear-end staring back at you and the other 6.7 billion people on this planet. That in itself might make me start looking for planets with other life forms.

Twins?

After watching the Super Bowl, and a few bits and pieces of the Jersey Shore marathon yesterday, I now know.

The Situatino and Peyton Manning are actually brothers.

Beat the Beat Up

The Jersey Shore cast has been beating the beat up all over the country. They are a media frenzy. With great reason of course. They are all, amazing!

The good news.

1) All cast members have signed on for a second season (even though some Italian-Americans demanded the show be cancelled. I'm an Italian-American--yeah I know, not really the same thing going for me that Snooks does, but still--and I would never want to cancel this show. I think it portrays them for who they are and why we love them and most Italians: they are in your face, don't care and are passionate. And, they are hilarious.). YES! I can't wait for the adventures, the creepin', the fake tans, weird-colored blonde hair and endless quotes of amazment. For $10,000/episode (double what they made last season), these folks are work every penny for MTV. Season 2, can't wait.

2) I follow Snooki on Twitter. I don't really care what she Tweets, but I like that I follw her. It makes me feel like her friend. She has over 138,000 followers. That's just awesome.

3) The Situation is on Twitter, but I can't bring myself to follow him. I can't really understand his Tweets. It's like they aren't in English. He only has like 17,000 followers. Ok, I'll follow him. My arm is twisted. Done. A Situation tweet: "NJ age of consent is 16. Nuff said." Classic.

4) The cast is going to be on The View on February 23. I "work from home" so I will be tuning in. EVERYBODY is scheduled to be: Snooks, JWoww, Vinny, Ronnie and Sammi (bore), DJ Pauly D and The Situation! I actually am considering putting this event on my Outlook calendar. Check it out, Feb. 23 11 am EST. Not only am I jazzed to see the cast, I'm way excited to see the Shore cast chat it up with Barbara Walters, Whoopi Goldbert and Joy Behar.

5) The cast is doing The View to promote the launch of Season 1 on DVD, to be released 2/23. Can I preorder? This is awesome. I'm feeling Jersey Shore party in da house!

2010 is looking up! Unemployment rate is down, the groundhog in Raleigh didn't see his shadow so Spring is predicted (I'm not listening to that rodent in Philly) and The Shore is back.

FIST PUMP!

Caught porn-handed

Let me paint the scene for you. A news station in Australia is doing a story on interest rates. They cut live to an Australian bank (or some other financial institution) for an in-depth analysis. And boy does it get in-depth.

As the very important financial guy is talking about interest rates, you can see over his shoulder in the background this guy's computer screen. But, unfortunately, for this guy he wasn't hard at work looking at interest rates or even numbers for that matter. This guy would have been lucky to have been caught on Facebook, MySpace, reading the news, setting up a date, or playing on YouTube. But this poor fella, he was caught looking at nudey pics of Australian model Miranda Kerr (who happens to be engaged to Orlando Bloom).




Now, first off, some reports are saying he was set up. That he received an email that automatically opened the nudey pics (so far I can see this happening) and that at the end it says "Turn Around" which he did. So it seems plausable. UNTIL, I watch the broadcast and see that he's looking at these pictures for a LONG time. I mean we're talking like 45 seconds per picture and there's about 4 pictures. Not only does he not try to close the pictures, he barely moves. He shows no sign of discomfort and is in fact seen talking to another co-worker while he's looking at this pics. My guess is he's looking at nudey pics, the other guy comes over and says something like "uh, dude I think your computer screen is on TV right now." Man freaks out, turns around to verify and BAM! He's caught porn-handed.

Secondily, some are saying he shouldn't lose his job. There's even an online petition and emal campaign to help this banker save his job. Their rationale: "He should not get fired because he has suffered enough and the pictures weren't hardcore porn." Are you kidding me? Because we didn't see her who-ha he should be allowed to continue working in what I believe to be a prestigous profession.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not heartless. I feel bad for the guy. But, it's kinda one of those things when you work in a professional setting. You don't look at porn at work. (I'm going to put both soft- and hard-core porn in this broad category.) What type of message would this send to other workers if he keeps his job? That it's okay to look at whatever you want to on your work computer, during work time? That it's okay to look at porn at work, as long as it doesn't show actual nude body parts? This is the craziest thing I've ever heard. I am not judging his worth as a worker or a financial banker man. I'm not even judging him as a person. I'm sure it was harmless. But at the end of the day, you just can't look at porn at work, hard or soft-core.

But, if you do and it's broadcast globally, you may be able to save your job. So before you open up, make sure a news broadcast is in close proximity, if you want to keep your job.

Death Certificates

When Matthew and I were at the beach for our birthday's (December 20 and 23), he broke the news to me of Brittany Murphy's death. I was in shock, couldn't believe, surely he had read it wrong. I seriously was upset for days. I loved her. She was cute and quirky, yet beautiful and talented. In my opinion, she was one of Hollywood's rising starlets. She was like Kate Hudson and Goldie Hawn to me. Just in her category. And, I adored her.

Well, the reports are in and they are reporting that this young beauty "died from pneumonia, with prescription drugs and anemai also playing a role." The saddest thing is they say her death could have prevented had she seen a doctor sooner. An appointment was scheduled for days after death. But, I think when any of us get a cold we don't want to rush to the doctor. We generally try to nurse our way back to health with your typical OTC drugs. Unfortunately, she nursed herself too long without medical attention. They plan to release the names of the prescription drugs that played a role in her death in coming weeks and months. At the end of the day though, I don't care how she did. I'm just sad she did.

Shortly after Brittany's death, socialite Casey Johnson (heirress to the J&J health care products fortune and girlfriend of Tila Tequila) died of a complication from diabetes. Coroners report she died from diabetic ketoacidosis, a life-threatening condition caused by lack of insulin and sky-high blood sugar. Like Murply, they predict Johnson could have possibly been saved had someone checked on her and found her in a diabetic coma within the first 24 hours. But, Tila and Casey were fighting and Casey was alone. I didn't really know who Casey was until reports of her death came through, but still very sad. Another preventable death. Not to mention she leaves behind an adopted daughter, Ava-Monroe.

I know celebs die too, but it always seems surreal when they die young from something not directly drug or alcohol-related. I guess I think they're immune to the same illness that plague the rest of us, but as Casey and Brittany showed us, they are just people, trying to live their lives doing what they do best: entertain the masses.

RIP Brittany and Casey.

Welcome back Yellow, down the toilet with Brown

This week's episode of The Biggest Loser starts off by bringing back one of our lost teams, yellow or blue. As they step out of their respective cars, it is obvious that both teams have taken the challenge and their weight loss very seriously. At first I didn't who to root for. I felt terrible for blue because the mom fell off the bike in the challenge that sent them home. But, then the yellow guy is dedicating his efforts to helping his daughter so she doesn't have to have the life he has had. So, what do you do? Both teams are just awesome.

In a very emotional weigh-in (I think I cried the first 15 minutes of the episode) blue gets sent home and yellow stays. But, blue did an exceptional job. Daughter blue lost 39 pounds, at home, on her own! The average on the ranch is 45 pounds. That is incredible. I hope she is continuing on her weight loss plan and experiences great success. Yellow dad losts 51 pounds! Together, he and his daughter lost a combined 11.4% of their body weight. I salute both teams.

Then Green mom has severe abdominal pains. Rushed to the hospital, she has emergency surgery to have her appendix and some other stuff removed. I feel kinda bad for being mean to her after the past few episodes. She wasn't losing weight because of her appendix and wasn't feeling really well. After losing the excess baggage, she's crying, missing her daughter and just has me feeling terrible for ever doubting her intentions. The powers of editing.

In the challenge, white brings home the victory! I was so proud of Michael, even if he did beat my gray team. I really think what he is doing is amazing. My expert guess, with all my qualifications and experience, is that with his mother on the ranch he was so focused on her well being that he didn't have time to focus on his own. With her home, he is focused on his weight loss and doing so to improve his life, as well as make his mama proud. I'm not your mama, but I'm proud of ya big fella!

In the weigh in, we almost got rid of one of our red peeps, but no dice. Sadly, brown, on his own, didn't meet his weight loss needed to stay on the ranch and had to go home. BUT, they did show an update and he has lost 104 pounds! And, impregnanted his wife. I guess she really liked the weight loss when he got home from the ranch. Gotta love The Biggest Loser. Making weight go down and the population rise.

Seriously, I don't know what it is about this show, but it is so inspiring and emotional for me. I cry when they lose weight, I cry when they lose challenges, I cry when they win challenges, I cry when they go home and most importantly I cry when they are proud of themselves for the first time. These people, in most cases, have lost all hope and Bob and Jillian help give hope back to them. The world could certainly use a little more hope, a little more happiness and a little more success in it.

In honor of all the contestants and their continued hard work, I have decided to have pizza and mozzeralla sticks for dinner. I will, however, dip it in light ranch, to save on calories and all.

Ice is back with my brand new invention ...

That's right. Ice is back, with a brand new invention. This time with twins John and Edward, more commonly known as Jedward. The duo rose to fame on the sixth edition of "The X Factor"," a British television singing competition contested by aspiring singers drawn from public auditions. Their first single, "Under Pressure (Ice Ice Baby)" features a mumbo jumbo mash up of the hit songs by Queen ("Under Pressure") and the man himself, Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby." The single, amazing as it is, released on January 31, 2010 so there's still time for YOU to be one the first to buy.

The video features the legend himself, rapping like the old days asking us to stop, collaborate and listen. While we're on the topic, I still do love Vanilla Ice. Watching him rap and hearing his lyrical genius, it had me dancing right here in the office. I especially loved the throwback hammer pants in the video and the reminder that Ice wants a car "so his hair can blow." I miss Ice.

After watching the new video single, I have no doubt it will be a success. People, as are drawn to car wrecks and natural disasters, won't be able to turn away from this. It's so undescribably weird with no talent whatsoever (except Vanilla) people will eat this up with a spoon. It truly has fame written all over it for these two. Not only do they have public, show appeal from their stent on "The X Factor," but the video itself is a recipe for fame. I don't know how long the fame will last, mind you, but fame is a -coming.

I have to ask, though, why is it as a society we are drawn to watch entertainment with no talent while there are very talented artists out there? Why is it we like the William Hung's and "Pants on da ground?" I don't know really, but that is a phenom in itself to me.

Don't be one of the only ones not to see the new hit single from the newly-famous Irish singing twins. 45,334 people have already seen this amazingly entertaining and terrible video.

Bloggy Briefs

Matthew is up late working to get ready for a very big, important work presentation. I am here by his side, blogging in moral support.

Entertainment news briefs:
1) The captain of the "Deadliest Catch" boat (not calling it a vessel, sorry sailors) suffered a stroke in an Alaskan port Friday night. He was flown to Anchorage and underwent emergency surgery. Nobody knows, at this point, when he'll be on the road to fishing again.

2) The doctor who administered the drugs that appear to have killed MJ will be charged, officially, in court. There's a lot of stuff that will have to be proven before anything is decided upon, but that's where we're going with this thing. Murray's comeback. He has maintains nothing he gave the singer SHOULD have killed him. I hope that's how my doc's think too. Not.

3) An actor who appeared on "Boston Legal" and most recently portrayed Terrell in the Disney Movie "G-Force" was killed in an SUV crash Monday night. Justin Mentell, 27, was not wearing a seat belt.

4) "Avatar" and "Hurt Locker" lead the Oscar nominations with 9 each, including best picture and director for former spouses James Cameron and Kathryn Bigelow. Other films up for best picture are "District 9", "Up", "Inglourious Basterds", "The Blind Side", "Up in the Air", "A Serious Man", "An Education", and "Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' By Sapphire." I haven't seen them all, but I vote "Avater". It was pretty awesome.

Sort of wish I had seen Surrogates as a Surrogate

Movie Madness Monday...on a Tuesday. The job search and contract work was crazy yesterday, putting my review on hold. But, here we are (just me really), ready to go and give you the scoop on my latest flick. Oh, by the way. New rating system.

1 pop: don't bother, it's not worth the calories

2 pops: it's okay if you add a LOT of butter

3 pops: glad I got the small size, certainly wouldn't have wanted a bigger bag

4 pops: a little more butter and I would never have left my seat

5 pops: perfection. hot, buttery (extra butter for good measure) and salty. just the way i like it

For those of you who do not know, NC was blessed with about 4 inches of snow over the weekend. For us Southerners who don't get the white stuff very often it was a wonderful treat, one that made me deliriously happy. (It's the small things. And the snow things.) So, homebound as I was, Friday night we snuggled in to watch the new-to-release Bruce Willias flick Surrogates. Here's the setup. This really rich, smart guy who is wheelchair-bound invents a technology where people can essentially live their lives through plastic dolls known as surrogates. But, these aren't your average plastic dolls. When you are hooked up you experience life through the safety of your own home, but you do actually experience what is happening to you through this weird thing on your face. You hook up, off goes your surrogate to live your life through what you want to happen, and then your surrogate comes home and gets plugged in to charge at what point you're real body has to work. Keep in mind, you can pick your surrogate. You could be a 65 year old overweight bald guy and decide to have a surrogate who is a 23 year old smoking hot blonde female. It don't matter. The goal was to let people with disabilities live normal lives, not to create pod people running around the place because people were too scared to live their own real life.

But, then a surrogate is murdered and the murder is actually transferred to the actual person operator. This is bad. Now we're looking at dead surrogates and dead people. Not what wheelchair inventor had hoped for. Bruce Willis is our main character and serves as Mr. Detective for the murder cases. He, of course, rebels and figures it all out. I won't tell you who is behind it all in case you watch the movie.

Overall, it was okay. For me, though, it underdelivered on what could have been a phenomenal flick. I love the concept. Too often in society we fear taking chances and watch life happen around us. If given the chance, I would bet some, if not many, of us would love the opportunity to live certain situations with no fear of what people will think or with no danger. Hell, I'd jump off a building and fly if I knew when I went splat I was fine and could then climb in some other robot body. So the premise is good. But the characters weren't that developed. I lacked an emotional connection with any of them. The big thing for Willis is that his son was killed. And while we know it's supposed to be a big deal that is shaping his life and decisions, we don't really learn anything about the son. Why it was a big deal. How it impacted him. How life was before. The details and characterization just aren't there.

The use of surrogates portrayed as plausible in every day life, gets an A in my book. The execution of surrogates was above average. I believe they were walking around the world and people were at home chillin' in their hooked up pod center. Check.

Severity of the crime portrayed, not good. What, three or four operators die and we have an epidemic on our hands? Not likely. A little blown out of proportion in my opinion.

Inventor character was very dynamic and intriguing. Liked him in a weird, twisted kind of way.

Overall, it's worth seeing on a snowy afternoon. But I'm certainly glad I caught this one on the comfort of my own couch. If you're into this surrogate concept, I personally recommend Gamer (although the ending doesn't feel complete).

Surrogates, gets three pops.

Seriously?? Again???

Rewind about 8 and a half months ago.

Our friend Rip Torn (yeah, I still don't know who he is either) was given probation for a drunk driving incident in CT. While being his third DUI, he was only sentenced to probation and admittance into an alcohol program. I don't know what you have to do to have your license actually revoked, but obviously three DUIs ain't it.


Let's see it again, though, for a good chuckle. His mug shot. It really is as good the second time around as it was the first.

Fast forward to today.

This poor fella, while his hair does look a little better, is being charged with criminal trespass, carrying a guy without a permit, carrying a gun while intoxicated, burglary and criminal mischief. Holy crap, Batman. How did this happen??

Well, he broke into a Connecticut bank, carried a loaded gun and blew a .203 (legal limit being .08) on an alcohol breathalizer test. And, believe it or not, it gets worse. He was so drunk he thought he was home, took off his hat and boots, left them by the door and kept asking officers why they were taking him from his home as he was being arrested. One would think after completing an alcohol program from his charge last year would help prevent something like this from happening, but he only completed the first stage of the program. So, now we are at four drunken offenses. I do not with a shred of being in my body believe this poor guy meant anybody any harm. Nor do I believe is he a danger to society, unless he's driving while drunk. He seems like a nice enough fellow. But, when are the courts going to finally realize this guy has a serious problem and do something about it?

I seriously hope for the citizens of CT, Torn himself and his family that he gets some help this time. Some real help. With some real accountability. I mean, if we have to, we could make a great Intervention episode out of this.

Mr. Torn is scheduled to appear on this multitude of charges on February 17. This time, at least, a Christmas tree is not involved.

Can't say I saw this one coming...

Kristen Bell and Dax are engaged!